exploring life and love with pictures and words

February 1st . . .

Mary in HB Valentine's weekend 2010 337My eyelids flutter as sunshine comes into my room. I slowly open them, happy to see a break in the rain. Stretching I reach for my phone to see if Ev has texted me for an early walk, not yet. I scan social media and the first post I see is a beautiful picture of my mom and dad, a photo I took at least 35 years ago. I read my sister’s words, a lovey tribute to our parents, a celebration of their lives. Bittersweet, I smile and cry at the same time. I miss them, we all miss them. 

Today would have been my dad’s 80th birthday. I try to imagine his aging face, but I can only see him at sixty-nine, still handsome, fit and strong, walking the beach trail and playing soccer with me. I suppose I am lucky that I never had to see him grow old and frail. So many of my friends watch helplessly as their parents disappear slowly over time . . .  that’s hard too.

Closing my eyes, I conjure up the sound of his voice. He is giving advice or laughing. Man, what I wouldn’t give to feel the softness of his beard against my cheek as I kiss him just one more time.  An impossible wish I know.  I sigh, grateful for the guest appearances he makes in my dreams, or the times he magically possesses my brother or my son. I quietly capture those moments, careful not to break the spell of his presence. 

I miss his support most, his wonderful wisdom. As I work through my most recent challenges, I remember his words , “Girls, you were born at a time when you can be or do anything you want.” 

Happy Birthday Dad 🙂

I am doing my damnedest to be and do exactly what I want.  

You would be proud.

I love you and miss you every day.

Xoc

4 Responses to “February 1st . . .”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: