exploring life and love with pictures and words

An observation . . .

It is through or stories,our connections

Gazing down at her fidgeting hands, slowly she speaks, deliberate with her words, she shares her story; a lifetime of being good, being perfect, first as a young girl in an abusive, alcoholic home and then as a wife to an alcoholic. Her childhood taught her the lessons of love, be good, be loved. She paid her dues. Compliance, perfection, and denial of her needs and dreams guaranteed her a lifetime of love. Surely, love’s light would shine on her, forever . . . a reward.

Without warning her husband declares, his dreams do not include her. The woman she had imagined, invented and perfected for him, was not at all the woman he wanted. How did she miss that detail? She could not accept his decision; she tried, and tried harder to be the woman he desired, but it was over. He decided. She grieves her loss, wrestles with change, learns to adapt, reflects and grows. She becomes her true self. She smiles. Her story is not my story, still I feel connected to her, and I go to sleep thinking about her and her story.


13 Responses to “An observation . . .”

  1. calensariel

    There’s something here that connects so many of us — and not all women, as strange as that seems. It’s the emotions deep at the heart of the woman that connects us, and the emotions are neither male nor female. That story nearly brought me to tears because no matter what others want us to be, we can only be who we are, for better or for worse.

    To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight… (e.e. cummings)

    Liked by 2 people

      • calensariel

        And yet at the same time most of us are desperately AFRAID of being seen for who we are for fear that others won’t like us at all then. Quite a conundrum, isn’t it… Went to bed last night wondering if I feel I even have the RIGHT to just be who I am when my family needs me to be someone else who doesn’t inconvenience them…

        Liked by 2 people

  2. jmd12340

    Thank you for sharing. Trying to be someone I’m not to please others has always left me feeling empty. I’m no longer a young man and I’ve decided that I will live the rest of my life according to my desires. I had to learn the hard way that alone and happy beats being with someone and unhappy. I truly hope to meet someone that can accept me for who I am, but if that doesn’t happen I can still be comfortable just being me.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. johncoyote

    A sad and powerful poem and story. When people change. Leave one to try to understand. A bad place to be. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. painkills2

    Women should stop looking at marriage as an answer for stability, protection, and love. After all, a woman can create all those things, by and for herself. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


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