exploring life and love with pictures and words

Reason # 999 for not dating . . . yet


Rushing to meet my sister and my brother-in-law at a local bar, I blindly dig through my handbag, my fingers searching for my tiny coin purse, the familiar soft leather and metal clasp. Way down deep I find it. I quickly feed the meter and then run between the slow moving cars. It’s a Tuesday evening downtown, a popular locals’ night and everyone is looking for parking. The parking angels were definitely flying with me. Coming straight from work in heals and a slightly too short skirt I am prevented from breaking into a sprint. Still I am nearly running. A deep, raspy voice calls to me and I ask what? at the same moment that his words become clear, Can I get your drinks tonight? Can I buy you a drink? A man, a nice looking man, sits low in  his beautiful black Mercedes, driving at the same speed as my hurried pace. Distracted and caught off guard I glance his way and say, I’m meeting someone. Still following me he asks, Can I buy you dinner? Let’s have dinner. I repeat that I am meeting someone and jog a little faster.  He is completely undeterred in his pursuit and not embarrassed in the least by the amused onlookers. I dodge the strolling couples on the crowded sidewalk, make a left turn and leave him unable to follow me. Still he shouts in my direction . . . or perhaps he is shouting to someone new.

Arriving at the bar, I tell my sister and brother-in-law what just happened. I ask them, Do you think this strategy actually works for him? Do some women actually reply, Yes, drinks that would be great! I love hooking up with random strangers that shout at me from a car and treat me like a prostitute.  My guess is that It absolutely must work, otherwise he wouldn’t be doing it, right? I ponder two thoughts, one, loneliness coupled with single status can make a person do desperate things, and two, these women are not watching Forensic Files!!! If I am really honest with myself, I admit there have been times in my life when I may have thought this whole scenario flattering. But, I have to say, not any more.  Now, I think it’s mostly pathetic.

Later, I wished I had not been so polite. Why didn’t I say, I don’t have drinks with men who shout from cars, or I don’t dine with serial killers.  I should have shouted, I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!!! Maybe it’s because in that quick moment, I forgot who I have become, who I am; a woman deserving of honor and respect, a woman who will not settle. Or maybe it was best to be polite and move on. In the end, it doesn’t matter what this idiot thinks of me. It matters what I think of me.

Turns out a week or so later, he approached my sister and me in a restaurant as we were finishing up our meal. I recognized his voice, and his face straightaway. I whispered to my sister, that’s him! I am sure he did not recognize me at all. He leans in toward my sister, way too close for comfort . . . Are you ladies treating yourselves, did you leave the guys at home? He was so crude, I lied and said, NO, we are meeting them right now! He skittered away like a scared cockroach, but not before saying, I’m jealous. What a lame ass! My sister and I watched him leave and make his way to another bar . . . just making the rounds.

Yep, still no dating for me . . . I guess it’s easy to avoid the idiots. I am not afraid of them. I’ve learned it’s the great guys that can really break your heart. What will I do when someone really worthy comes along? . . . Now that scares me. . . .


10 Responses to “Reason # 999 for not dating . . . yet”

  1. platosgroove

    I was rooting for you. I actually got a little angry and the redneck in me got activated. 🙂 I know you are grown and can take care of yourself but for a minute I thought “I will beat his stupid ass.” 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. judy

    The first encounter could have been him being playful. He could have liked your spunk, running like mad regardless of what you were wearing and looking beautiful while doing it.
    The second encounter was good in that you knew he was just gross.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. judy

    Body language can be so revealing. I took a nonverbal communication class at OCC. I loved it



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