My daughter started wearing glasses when she was 9 months old, darling little cat-eyed bifocals. Her appearance drew a lot of attention as this was over 30 years ago and it wasn’t very common to see some one so tiny in glasses. She was a chatterbox and could engage anyone in conversation, usually telling complete strangers the name and age of every member of our family, and on one occasion announcing to the world that she had a vagina.
With her little spectacles and constant talking, she seemed a little professor, wise beyond her years. Strong willed and independent, raising her was a challenge to say the least. Today I would say that I learned many lessons from that little girl, she may have raised me.
This morning I wake up to a beautiful day in San Francisco. I am with my daughter. Neither one of us can remember the last time we took a trip together, but we’re pretty sure it was a girls’ trip to Vegas, all the aunties and the fortunate niece who happily tagged along.
It’s been a rough week for my girl as she grapples with maintaining appropriate boundaries with her brother as he continues to battle his addiction. She reaches out to him, listens, and supports him, while avoiding the rescue. I listened as she recounted a conversation she had with her brother. It was so difficult for me to hear. He is sad, and believes with all of this heart, that we are all against him, not wanting to help, punishing him. She calmed him and talked him off the ledge, at least for the moment.
She worried that telling me would hurt my heart. Instead, I marveled at her wisdom and was grateful that she was there for him in a way that I have not been able to manage, accepting him without one ounce of judgment. I can learn from her, my little girl. I feel stronger knowing she is by my side.
My daughter hasn’t worn glasses in years. Now, instead of just appearing wise, she shares her wisdom with me . . .and I am grateful.
I love you T.